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Discipline & Punish

from Shadow of a Doubt by SPECIAL AGENT

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lyrics

Clock kisses me
Like someone I know
who escaped
Can’t find my face
Ground down by the stone
Tell me, who am I?

Promised structure
Stability
The hours tally
My body ages by the second
Tell me
Have I proved myself yet?

I used to recognize this passion
Ground down in the gear
I fear old habits
And questions without answers
This prison is objective
Comforting and straight forward and
Keeping the lights on

Cowardice was never the goal
Yet I slapped away
Every hand with a key to help me
Get out
And now in my own shadow
I can see
I am the only one who can set me free

Break my back for your wretched scheme
Betray my bodies and the bodies before me
Hook and hang me from the tile
Another worker for the pile
All love lost for the sake of what?
Suckling mouths nip my empty cup
My spoons are naught, my mind is gone
in this psycho-capital phenomenon

I’ve combed through the past
Like a masochistic analyst
dusted off old resentments
And I pin-point the anger
And the envy
And the ghastly half-truths
And I bind them together
And burn them whole
There is no room for the old skin
So I shed it openly
Scary to see the automaton break down
Isn’t it?
My peace of mind floods
My rebirthed synapses

"They all don't last" they whisper in my ear
"For one more buck, we'll keep you here"
This stick and carrot is so fucking old
Draw the curtains on this archaic show
La vita e bella, if you have the guts
and I'm tired of prepping for the shunt
Let the quartet play, straight from the hip
I'll blow the nose off this sinking ship

Make them quake

And my eyes open from the blackout
How long has it been?
Months? Years?
Do I remember anything? Yes,
And when the bell tolls
For the poisoned minds
I am here to say, finally,
Do not sacrifice

This cycle of fear closes
And the fruits of my labor are now my own
I water them with care
And if I have one regret
It is this
That my power could be taken
By societal abyss

And when I stand at the open door
Their bloody hands will reach no more
Let my scars lift me to the light
No longer a peon for the plight
My future self confronts the past
A foolish thing to think I'd last
at the beck and call of the vile clan
I'm the only survivor in the end

credits

from Shadow of a Doubt, released March 2, 2023

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SPECIAL AGENT Dallas, Texas

egodeath driven post-industrial hxc cyberpunk nervous breakdown showmanship. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

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